marc staal/dan girardi (if you are not familiar with the Ballad of Marc and DG, it springs from two things: DG's amazingly mindblowing sexiness (Exhibit A), and Glen Sather's excellent letter to Gary Bettman (read it! IT'S GOOD: Exhibit B) which contained the immortal line "According to Rangers trainer Jim Ramsay, one patron was screaming at the team, in graphic language, about whether Dan Girardi and Marc Staal have a sexual relationship." obviously)
2,083 words
a christmas gift for crankygeek, my partner in crime, for a million little reasons

( no place in the world that can compare )

Fic dump!

These are the results of fic exercises, not actual "pieces" in their own right. And they're shit, so be forewarned.

First off, I have three five-minute character sketches (the kind where you sit down and vomit up words for five minutes), on Carey Price, Mark Bell, and Jordan Staal, respectively.

( sketches )

Next up: word and sentence fics! We brainstormed a bunch of words and a bunch of pairings, then randomized them. There are TWENTY-FOUR sentences with TWENTY-FOUR different pairings here. It almost killed me.

( sentences )

Finally, some song experimentation. Each of these short little bits was banged out in exactly the length of the song's run time. That's why they suck. The pairings include many of the already-mentioned.

( more songs for more fun )

more lulzy lulz.

Your choice of Finns/Russians in a Winter War AU.

Jarkko Ruutu/Alexei Kovalev? HARF HARF HARF.

( There was white everywhere )

brb going to go kill myself now

In case you are not keeping up with the kink meme, I, uh, FOUND, some lulzy "responses" to the meme: The, uh, requests are italicized, and the responses that I, uh, FOUND, are below them. LULZ. Dude: it was part of A CHALLENGE. Not a serious challenge--a LULZ challenge!!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I AM SO EXCITED!!! A HOCKEY KINK MEME!!! YESSSSSS!!!!!!

OKAY: Staalcest. Kink: "It's like looking into a mirror." So, like. Incest. (Bonus points if it's ALL OF THEM!!! Extra bonus points if it's angsty!!)

( I got an Xbox for my birthday. What do you want? )

Douglas Murray/Evgeni Nabokov/surprise me

Double penetration, Evgeni on the bottom (naturally). Dougie and Nabby in an established relationship but they don't mind sharing ;)

( Doesn’t it feel good to take your aggression out on someone else, Danny?” Douglas asked. )

Sergei Kostitsyn/Andrei Kostitsyn: Andrei is really drunk after celebrating the first round win, thinking Sergei is drunk as well, he leads him on and ends up fucking him, only to find out that Sergei was sober the whole time.

( Ohhhhhh mannnn, )
Apparently now I end all fics with punchlines? OK!

gen Staal fic
1922 words

( though we have sparred, wrestled and raged, i can tell you )

dany heatley/ilya kovalchuk
mentions of jason spezza
1,193 words

( in secret we believe [we're nothing that we need] )

here was 1.:1970 buick skylark

2. 1969 ford mustang (mach 1 special edition)

( life could be a dream )

carey price, jaroslav halak
2696 words

( country boy got a lot to lose )

more gen Staal fic (I hate me too)

( if i could find my way back home, where would i go? )

gen Staal fic

( i ran until the creek became a river )